2004-11-03 @ 9:58 a.m.....

Hi, like you said its complicated, but I have to live with my scars there is no way to erase some things, just relax and deal with everything that comes in later. I was planning on going to O.C.S. ask M------- about it, everyone has the hopes on me that I could do
it, but that would mean I have to stay more years.

I didnt know how were you feeling, I said to myself not to understand certain things and focus my thoughts in another way, not to be hurt, but cant resist to go to my closet and see your pictures again.

Im not mad, for now I think of life as a fantasy world, its not real and I am living like a history someone is reading. Im strong physically and mentally, no one can beat me at my game, but my heart is weak and that unbalances my physical and mental strenght. I say that because you told me from the beginning what you were looking for you and became blind in the way of caring for you so much.

If you wonder, yeah I think of you, but like I said, have to deal with everything that comes without no one stomping in my face. Im doing ok, there is a difference in americans and puertorricans and is that americans are more independent and leave home as soon
as they can, we puertorricans get to leave our home later. Something you learn every day. I am learning to be more independent, I dont know if thats really my purpose in life and be a sucessfull person by myself and dont need a family. I will see throught time if my thoughts are correct. I mean I want a family and all but now thinking like you maybe that is not my
purpose and its the time to find out.

Dont worry I understand it is for your own good, I will not blame you, talk bad about you, anything, I took it as something that have to happen to realize
something, but I dont even have a clue what it is...

L---

what had happened was.... ~ ....what comes next?