2005-05-23 @ 8:55 p.m.....

i got chastised the other day for no damn reason. i HATE getting chastised.

the thing is, even though there was absolutely no basis for it, i took it so personally. to the point where i'm still thinking about it today.

and it didn't help that the person rubbed salt in the wound today.

it got even more personal when she tried to pull the race card on me. which i think is totally unfair.

what is it about people pointing the finger at others and saying that because they are "half", they are somehow more or less????

fucked up.

i hate it. there are all of these advances in society, for every advance, there are a million setbacks.

the very same people who smile in your face and preach about unity.... will attack your character and joke about your most personal thing that you have - your identity.

fucked up.

i hate it. i can't stand the fact that i actually take these comments personally. still, to this day. after so many years of coming to terms with it over and over again, i'm still struggling. somedays i tell myself, i will never BE what it is they see in me when they see me. I will never BE how they perceive me and the impression that they take away from me. I will never BE that, but it will not stop them from assuming it every single time.

fucked up.

i hate it.

what had happened was.... ~ ....what comes next?